


The Golden Light

by LastNightFanfictionSavedMyLife, NatashaRedFox



Category: Chernobyl (TV 2019)
Genre: Allow yourself to feel the warmth of the sunlight Comrade Dyatlov, Bring tissues, F/M, Sad, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastNightFanfictionSavedMyLife/pseuds/LastNightFanfictionSavedMyLife, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatashaRedFox/pseuds/NatashaRedFox
Summary: The Golden Light is calling to him, but so is the Abysmal Darkness... What to choose? The Dark or the Light?-Based upon the 2019 'Chernobyl' HBO series and the character therein of Anatoly Dyatlov, played by the most glorious and beautiful Paul Ritter.Please heed warnings and tags and notes etc before reading.-Alright Bambinos, please read and enjoy!Kudos and Comments always greatly appreciated.
Relationships: Anatoly Dyatlov/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: The Dyat Love Collection!





	1. But For Now, I Find It's Only in My Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> The most beautiful artwork here is by NatashaRedFox.
> 
> Chapter Titles from: Eric Clapton - Change the World.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The golden light encircled him and whispered gently to him, asking for its warm enveloping embrace to be returned.

The golden light is coming from behind. It encircled him and whispered gently to him, asking for its warm enveloping embrace to be returned. He could feel it heating his back, warming him. He closed his eyes and let it comfort him. The light urged him to turn around. Begged for him to come and look, come and see. To turn away from the blackest, dingiest of darknesses that was threatening to pull him in, to pull him down. Was he brave enough to comply to the light's wishes? Sould he just turn around? Could he grasp the light with both hands and drag himself up and away from the gloomy pit he was heading towards?

His haunted eyes betrayed how torn he was inside. An inner voice whispered to him. It sneered at him, laughed at him, a teeth baring smile that held none of the radiance of the golden light. _No, don't look. It's pointless. You're not strong enough. You were never strong enough!_ Another voice was battling that first one. Pleading with him, just as the golden glow did _Turn around! Redeem yourself! You are stronger than you know!_

 _What should I do?_ He's unsure where these voices have come from. One of the voices sounds suspiciously like his dead son, the second calmer voice. The first sounded like his father. _But that can't be. Surely? It's all just a symptom of the huge stress I'm under. Isn't it?_ He shook his head, trying to dislodge the sounds in there. Not wanting to do battle with them as well as with himself. 

What he had just read, it meant that what the designers outlined there and what the manuals stated were at complete odds with each other. How had anyone not noticed this before? _I can't have been the only one, surely?_ He laughed. _Idiot!_ he chided himself. Of course someone had read it, the redactions he had to read around attested to that. The original paper had been read, noted, and someone had deliberately chosen to hide it. They'd chosen the dark. Now it was his turn to choose which path to tread. His turn to choose who to save: his career or... _God!_ The other shouldn't even bear thinking about once, let alone twice.

He stubbed his cigarette out, stabbing it down, harshly squashing it out. He stood, turning from the warmth and the light and walked away. He had a meeting to attend and decisions to make.


	2. If I Could Change the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The golden glow doesn't give up on him, but will he?
> 
> Beautiful artwork by NatashaRedFox.

As he sat in his office, the golden glow assailed him again. It poured through the window behind him and gently caressed his back.

 _You know what you have to do._ The gentle voice told him. He did. He'd read the information he'd been given. But it desperately scared him. 

The smoke from the end of his cigarette spiraled upwards, it curled around him and ascended towards the ceiling. He took a long draw and let out a deep breath. Sending more smoke on its way, floating higher. He observed it as it joined the rest, mingling with it, then it vanished into nothingness. Vanishing like his chance of promotion if he chose the light, chose what was right and correct. He'd wanted that promotion. The chance at being in charge and the thought of earning more money to make her more comfortable. To find a larger apartment for her.

She deserved better than anything that he could provide. _She deserves better than you_ the first voice laughed. _No! She loves you for who you are, the only thing she desires from you is your love!_ the second voice insisted. He would certainly get his desired promotion if he rejected the light. But if he chose the darkness... Well... He dare not think about the other consequences of that choice.

He took a deep breath. Then read the papers again, just to make sure that what was there was true and that he wasn't having some delusional vision. He placed the papers down on his desk, fisting his hands tightly to stop them from shaking.

He squeezed his eyes closed tightly, not wanting to let the tears escape. He swore to himself, long nasty, heartfelt, violent words, as he stubbed his cigarette out. Squashing it down, pushing it down with all the vehemence he felt towards the world. Towards the injustice of it all. No one else here seemed to be bothered about things like this. Having a conscience wasn't required if you wanted to climb high up the party ladder it seemed. Just a good pair of solid boots to trample on everyone else and a strong stomach to endure all the filth they'd need to swallow as they ascended upwards. _It's simple. Just hold your nose as you climb over those damn fools! Once you reach the top, you won't care!_ The more vicious of the voices sneered at him.

 _Why should I have to choose like this?_ he thought. _You know why. You can see the truth_ the gentle voice told him. The voice that sounded like his dead son. _The love you have inside. It's everything you need._

He shook his head, wanting the voices to go, to leave him alone, just as his wife did shortly after his poor son's death and her breakdown. _You were soft then, just like now!_ the first voice accused him.

He placed his elbows on his desk and held his head between his hands, hanging his head downwards. His breathing became jagged, hitched. His tears fell on his desk. Making fat splatting sounds on the shiny wood. As his tears plummeted, they glittered and sparkled in the golden light, just like the most precious of jewels.


	3. I Would be the Sunlight in Your Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just need a little help to look. To see how beautiful everything can be, here in the light.
> 
> Beautiful artwork by NatashaRedFox. All praise to her for inspiring this little ficlet!

There was a knock on his door. He didn't bother to look up.

"Fuck off!" he hissed, his words loaded with venom. _Why can't everyone just leave me be for one fucking minute!_

The knocking resumed, louder this time. 

"Didn't you hear me! Fuck off!" he spat.

"I won't! I'm not leaving here until you let me in!" the door handle was rattled.

He'd locked the door after he'd stormed in from a meeting with Bryukhanov and Fomin earlier. He'd slammed the door, causing dust to fall from the frame. He'd kicked it for good measure before throwing himself into his chair. He'd not moved from it since then, two hours previously.

"You will open this door right now Anatoly Stepanovich Dyatlov or I'll... I'll keep knocking and knocking just to piss you off even more! I'll knock on the door to the tune of one of those western punk songs that you detest so much! Or... Or I'll just knock randomly to aggravate you into trying to guess the tune when it isn't anything at all!" the door handle rattled again and the knocking resumed.

"Leave me be! I don't want to see you or anyone!" he shouted, gripping his head in his hands tightly. _You don't mean that!_ the gentler of the voices said to him. _Yes you do! Get rid of the interfering bitch!_ the harsher voice said. _No! No! That's not true! She isn't!_ he thought, pushing the harsh voice away, sending it far, far down. Stamping on it angrily. He stood up, knocking his chair over in his haste. _Wait! Please don't leave me, my love!_

"Anatoly! What's going on in there? What was that crashing?" the door handle was rattled again and the knocking resumed, faster this time. "Let me in! Let me in! Please...!" he could hear loud sobs coming from the other side of the door. _What have I done?_ he rushed over to the door, opening it. He caught her as she fell inside, re-locking the door behind her.

"Anatoly!" she looked up at him. Noting his puffy, red eyes, the tear tracks down his cheeks, his soggy mustache.

"Oh!" She lifted a hand up, placing it on his cheek.

He choked a sob and pulled her in, clutching at her, burying his face into her hair as his body shook and the tears fell unhindered. They fell into a muddled heap on the floor. She held his head to her breast, cradling him, rocking him, petting his head and rubbing his back until his sobs finally subsidised.

"Tell me love, tell me what's upset you," she whispered to him.

He lifted his head and looked up at her _My beautiful rose_.

He sucked in a deep breath. The golden evening light from the window was behind her. The light around her head shone like a bright, golden halo. Her hair was transformed into all the colours of the sun, from bright gold to deep red and every imaginable shade in between. She dazzled him, blinded him. She took his breath away. He lifted a shaky hand up and placed it on her cheek. His hand was illuminated, glowing in the golden light.

He knew what needed doing now. There was no choice any more. _You knew all along_ the gentle voice told him. _You always do. Sometimes you just need a little help to look. To see how beautiful everything can be, here in the light._


End file.
